Nail Biters Anonymous

For the better part of my 32 years, as long as I can remember, I have picked, bitten, and chewed my finger nails. I don't remember when or why I started; my aunt always said it was because I was "nervous." Nervousness, stress, or boredom they say. I think I can relate to all three.

If my aunt's theory is correct, I was a very nervous three, four, or five year old. My memories of then are pretty clear, and I never remember having nails. In fact, I remember wanting fake nails sooo bad...I even tried to make them out of scotch tape - more than once. :-| Needless to stay, they didn't last long. Then they came out with Press-On Nails...woo-HOO! Remember them? The answer to my prayers! Unfortunately, I had so little nail to adhere to, they didn't last long either. No matter how hard I tried, all through my teens, I could NOT let my nails grow. Pretty soon, wouldn't you know it, nail salons starting popping up in all shopping malls near you. I swear, my nails frightened every manicurist that ever set eyes on them. Bless their hearts, they did their best, with no guarantees of how long they'd last because, you guessed it, there was NOTHING there for the glue to stick to. The acrylic was basically stuck to my finger tip. I'd keep them as long as I could - any way I could - because I typically couldn't afford the refill two weeks later. I just wanted a little sprout of nail to appear, because I knew I could let them grow if I saw promise. I would glue and re-glue them to my "nubs" with all that leftover glue from do-it-yourself kits...or I'd use the nearest tube of Crazy Glue (not recommended).

I broke my finger. It was in a "cast" for about a month. When the cast came off, my finger was all withered and pale from being bandaged up with no air; moisture building up on the inside so it looks as if you've had your hands in dishwater for a week. BUT, the NAIL! Oh my!! I've never seen such a beautiful nail in my life! I had almost given up hope that it was even possible.

Wanna guess how long that beauuuuuuutiful nail lasted?