Friday, June 2, 2006

10 Things Don't Come Easy

My best friend has recently started seeing a therapist. She's actually supposed to be seeing a psychiatrist, but apparently she has to start with a counselor and be qualified as crazy enough to see the actual doctor. At any rate, she's seen the counselor twice now, and he just ain't doin' it for her.

Therapists are a strange thing. I saw one for nearly two years, and as best I can figure she was my biggest fan to date. I mean, I really don't feel like I got much from it, outside of a large bill. She never really questioned me or my motives, she thought I was thoughtful, intelligent, and apparently crazy for thinking I needed therapy! Hello? I'm not here for shits and giggles, lady.

Anyway, my first bit of advice for my friend was to make sure she did not settle for someone she felt wasn't going help her. If she isn't comfortable talking with him/her, she should keep looking until she finds someone with whom she is comfortable, or seems capable of helping in some form or fashion.

Honestly, after my experience with therapy, I'm not really sure it's the therapist. It might be the therapee. It's really easy to go in every week and talk about the nonsense, bullshit, tripe going on in one's life. Get it off your chest, feel better. However, next time shit hits the fan, you're really not better prepared to deal with it, you just know that before it makes you crazy, you'll get to pay someone to hear about it, and possibly support your theory of how ridiculous said event was. This is how most of my therapy went.

So, for those who might have already gone through it...what, exactly, makes a therapist a good therapist?

My friend was given the task of making a list of at least 10 things (a day?! OMG!) of good qualities about herself, completing ignoring the negative qualifier that typically follows. Of course, this seems like an impossible task to someone who is depressed, overweight, undereducated, and underemployed. Actually, while on the phone, it was impossible for me to think of 10 things good about myself, too, and I'm not even depressed (most of the time).

Nevertheless, I promised I would make an effort to do this with her, so either a) she wouldn't feel all alone in this task, or b) she wouldn't feel shitty when neither of us can think of 10 good qualities about ourself. Since she figures it will be (b), I've decided to put myself to the task in this public forum.

SO! Without further adieu, here goes:

10 Things I Like About Myself:
1. My brain
2. My eyes (one is brown, the other slightly green)
3. My sarcastic sense of humor
4. My perseverance
5. My athletic ability
6. My caring heart
7. My love of animals
8. My creative abilities (scrapbooking, photography, calligraphy)

Crap, I'm stuck on 8 right now. I'll have to come back and edit for #9 and #10.

Edited to add:

9. My ability to listen
10. My outspokenness

Well, I did it! There are many ways for me to qualify all the things I listed above, but in honor of the exercise, I will leave them as written.

Man, it’s hard to leave well enough alone some times…


Mrs. Darling said...

I know people have been helped by those guys but I've never seen it msyelf. Every one of my friends whoever went to a phsychiatrist is still the same today. It ddint change a thing.

Michael Manning said...

Having been through it, I can tell you it's really not complicated. If the match isn't right, move on to another counselor who get's you. I ran into a girl I dated two years ago in a shopping center parking lot and she told me my referal was the best thing in the world. I was so impressed with how much life this lady had and feel so happy that she is happier and feeling stronger. We are staying in touch too!